Secure Yourself
by ElanMorin
Summary: This is a one-shot I've been wanting to write for a while. Definitely hints of Maura/Jane, but nothing too graphic.


Disclaimers: I don't own the song or Rizzoli and Isles!

Detective Jane Rizzoli was exhausted.

Half-heartedly running a hand through her hair, Jane looked herself over in the mirror. Reaching out as if to touch the reflection of her face, she wondered how she'd avoided going gray. She'd never admit it to Korsak, but being a police officer was beginning to wear her down. Mentally, physically, emotionally...seeing the worst side of humanity on a daily basis was finally taking its toll.

She'd brought it up to Maura a while back. "It's only natural," she'd said. Of course, with Maura being Maura, it was followed by a good two minutes of jargon related to brain chemistry. Surprisingly enough, she had offered some advice that actually made some sense to Jane at the end of the conversation.

 _Jane, why not pick up the piano again? Playing music releases (stuff) and is quite therapeutic._

Grinning ruefully to herself, she took a look at the yet-unused piano that now resided in her living room. Of course that's not exactly what Maura said, but the detective was well versed in selective hearing when it came to her well-intentioned, yet prone-to-lengthy-rambling colleague.

Deciding to take her best friend's advice, Jane sat down at the piano and removed the cover. Eying the ebony and ivory with trepidation, she placed her hands on the keys and was about to strike the first note when she recoiled and almost gasped. She'd seen a flash of a face; one she was all too familiar with.

 _Hoyt._

Eying the scars now permanently etched on her hands, Jane sighed and replaced the cover. This just wasn't working. Something was missing.

Something...or someone?

Thirty seconds later she was on her phone listening to the concerned chirping of her friend.

"Hello, Jane! Is something wrong? It's almost nine at night!"

Jane sighed before responding. "That's a tough question, Maur...I'm just having one of those nights. I actually took your advice and spent my life savings on a piano, but I just can't bring myself to play."

"Your life savings? Surely nothing but the most rare of antique pianos would cost that much!"

Jane chuckled softly. "Maur...it's an expression."

"I see."

There was a brief, yet awkward, silence as the doctor was waiting for Jane to say something else. When that didn't appear to be happening, Maura chose to speak first.

"Is there something I can do to help?"

The doctor couldn't see it, but Jane's eyes took on a definitively faraway look. "You DO help, Maur. Every day. Sometimes I think I couldn't make it through murder after murder day in and day out without you."

Maura certainly wasn't the greatest at interpreting social cues, but thankfully for the detective she didn't miss this one.

"Jane, would you like me to come visit?" There was definitely a tinge of mischief when she added, "I'd offer to bring wine if I thought you'd actually drink any."

Jane shook her head and sighed. "Thanks, but no thanks. It's not one of those nights for me...I just need to unwind and I can't think of a better person to do it with."

Concern was evident in the doctor's voice. "Absolutely, Jane! Perhaps I can even persuade you to play for me when I arrive?"

There was nothing soft about the snort that escaped Jane. "Considering I haven't touched a piano in over a decade, you might want to bring earplugs."

Maura sighed, exasperated. "I'm sure it won't be that bad! Based on observation, you excel at anything in which you put time and effort."

Jane allowed herself a small grin. _Sometimes it's nice to have a best friend who can't lie._

Clearing her throat and adopting a sterner tone, she replied, "If you don't leave soon, it'll be past your bedtime."

Maura seemed offended. "Jane, _bedtime_ is precisely when I set it. I'll see you shortly."

Jane put down her phone and allowed herself a chuckle. Maura was definitely one of the tougher people for her to figure out, but to the detective it was always worth the effort.

Rubbing her temples, Jane attempted to figure out why she was feeling like this. Was it her work? Seeing corpses an hour after breakfast couldn't be helping her. The satisfaction of catching the perps was very real for her, however; in her mind that more than made up for the initial disgust and shock of seeing the result of their crimes.

Was it her love life? Wincing, Jane replayed all of her past relationships in her mind. She had been batting zero for a long time now...could that be it? She shook her head slightly. _I've never needed a man to be happy, and I never will._

What _did_ make her happy? As exasperating as she could be, Jane loved her mother and generally enjoyed her company. The same held true for Frankie and Korsak. Sighing heavily, she thought of Frost. If it hadn't been for that car accident, he would be on that list as well.

Finally her musings settled on Maura. Her best friend, her confidante...her _partner._ Not as official as her partnership with Frost had been, in that sense, but it was almost as if Maura was the counterweight that allowed her to keep in balance. The Boston PD would not be the same without Rizzoli and Isles.

Minutes later, a knock at her door snapped the detective out of her reverie.

True to form, Maura appeared to be posing for a photoshoot. "Please come in, _Your Majesty_."

Since Jane had teased her so often about it, Maura just smiled and gave Jane an exaggerated appraisal. "I apologize for not wearing worn blue jeans and a paint-stained tee shirt."

"Apology accepted!" Jane's tone turned more serious. "Thanks for comin', Maur."

"I hypothesized a source of your distress might be that we have not had much...how did you put it... _girl time_ lately?" The doctor was completely serious.

Jane let out a genuine and warm laugh. "That's gotta be it, doc." Glancing at her newly delivered piano, she added, "I've been thinking about what to play, but nothing seems right."

Maura continued to look serious. "Perhaps you should select a song that mimics your current emotional state."

Jane took a seat on her sofa and gestured at the doctor to join her. "I'm pretty sure if I knew what my 'current emotional state' was, I wouldn't be asking you to come visit when I should be in bed."

Folding her hands, Maura gave the detective a very clinical look. "We should start by analyzing what could be triggering your feelings."

Jane sighed and shook her head. "Maur, the head doc stuff isn't gonna work on me for this."

Maura shrugged and looked slightly hurt. Looking back over at her friend, she noticed Jane's eyes looked almost unfocused, as if her thoughts were some place else. Placing a hand on one of her friend's thighs, she was on the verge of making a comment when Jane spoke first.

"Maur...how do you do it?"

The doctor looked genuinely confused. "I'm afraid you're going to have to be more specific."

Jane interlocked her fingers and seemed to be staring at her coffee table. "Live without God."

Maura sighed. "We've been over this before, Jane."

"For me, things...they just have to mean something, ya know? I can't deal with the horrors of my job thinking it's all for nothing."

The doctor seemed ready to launch into a debate, but before she could a thought occurred to her. Giving Jane a considering look, she responded, "How does that song go? Your place is of the sun, and this place is of the dark? No matter what your beliefs are, you should know you bring light to the world."

Jane nearly choked. "Dr. Maura Isles, are you going to tell me you have a joint in your purse next?"

Maura gave Jane her most indignant look. "I'm offended by the suggestion!"

The detective's face took on a mischievous air and she stood up. "Congratulations, Maur! You've just been volunteered to help me with my first song."

Maura appeared to be pleased with herself. "You know how to play it?"

Jane shrugged. "Yeah. Don't tell Korsak, but I went through a little bit of a hippie phase after high school. I figure you can sing the high parts for me?"

Maura made a show of clearing her throat. "Well, this will be interesting to say the least." She grinned despite her best efforts otherwise. "Are you nervous?"

Jane grinned wryly. "If there's one person I don't mind screwing up royally in front of, it's you."

Both women were able to fit on the piano seat without any difficulty. Jane turned to Maura and cocked her head. "There's actually another song I'd rather play...if you know it, sing along with me. It...kind of gets to me." Jane shrugged uncomfortably. "Hope you enjoy it."

Maura impatiently gestured toward the instrument and gave Jane a smile. "I'm ready when you are, detective."

Jane nervously flexed her fingers and played a few notes to warm up. Shortly she felt ready enough to begin. Maura recognized the song within a few notes of Jane playing, but during the performance she was so in awe of her friend that she almost didn't remember to sing along when she was needed. She had never seen the detective so...raw. Stripped down to almost nothing; baring her soul for just her to see. The doctor was too engrossed in the music to notice, but for the first time she was seeing Jane in a completely different light.

 _In the ink of an eye I saw you bleed,_ _  
_ _Through the thunder I could hear you scream,_ _  
_ _Solid to the air I breathe,_ _  
_ _Open-eyed and fast asleep._ _  
_ _Falling softly as the rain,_ _  
_ _No footsteps ringing in your ears._ _  
_ _Ragged down worn to the skin_ _  
_ _Warrior raging, have no fear._

 _Secure yourself to heaven._

 _Hold on tight, the night has come_

 _Fasten up your earthly burdens,_ _  
_ _You have just begun._

 _Kneeling down with broken prayers,_

 _Hearts and bones from days of youth,_ _  
_ _Restless with an angel's wing,_ _  
_ _I dig a grave to bury you._ _  
_ _No feet to fall,_ _  
_ _You need no ground,_ _  
_ _Allowed to glide right through the sun,_ _  
_ _Released from circles guarded tight,_ _  
_ _Now we all are chosen ones._

 _Secure yourself to heaven._

 _Hold on tight, the night has come_ _  
_ _Fasten up your earthly burdens,_ _  
_ _You have just begun._

Jane let the final note ring before silencing it. Wiping at a single tear that had fallen while she was playing, she nervously glanced at her friend to gauge how she felt about the performance.

"Jane...that was incredible."

The doctor's face was surprisingly unreadable, but her lips were still slightly parted in what appeared to be shock.

Jane sniffed and grinned. "Aw, shucks. You didn't do too bad yourself." The detective was already prepared for a disapproving"bad _ly_ " comment from her friend, but to her surprise it never came.

Maura blinked and shifted nervously. "Jane, while that was fantastic, I do have to be in my office at six in the morning tomorrow. Promise we'll do this again sometime?"

Jane laughed. "Of course. Thanks for coming over, Maur. I already feel a million percent better."

Surprisingly, the doctor refrained from commenting on the oddity of that figure. The two women hugged, and after that Maura was on her way back home.

Feeling exhausted, Jane slipped into her pajamas and headed for bed. As she always seemed to do, Maura had once again made her feel...okay. _Better than okay_ , she had to add to herself. _Amazing._

She might not need a man to keep her happy, but it seemed that the detective needed one Dr. Maura Isles to do so.

Not bothering to consider what that meant, for the first time in weeks Jane closed her eyes and fell right to sleep. Her last conscious thoughts were picturing the one woman who always made her feel complete.

 _Maura_.

A/N: Thanks so much for reading! I'm a 28 yo math/physics major, so writing definitely isn't my strong suit. Please comment if you like!


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